How anxious are you at the dentist?

Reviewed by Dr. Samar Fadavi, DDS

Short answer: Feeling nervous about the dentist is very common, and it ranges from mild unease to fear strong enough to stop people from booking at all. A quick self-check can help you see where you sit. Whatever your level, telling the team, agreeing on a stop signal, breathing slowly and taking visits one small step at a time can make care feel much more manageable.

You are not alone

Many adults in Canada say they feel anxious about dental visits, and a smaller group feel so afraid that they avoid the dentist for years. Children, teens and older adults can all feel this way. Some people are worried about needles or the sound of the drill. Others had a hard experience as a child, feel embarrassed about the state of their teeth, or dislike lying back and not being able to talk.

Anxiety is not a weakness, and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. Dental teams see it every day. This guide helps you think about how anxious you feel, why it happens, what tends to help at each level and how to talk with your dentist about it. It is general information for patients in Scarborough, the Danforth and East Toronto.

A quick self-check

Read each statement and notice how true it feels for you: not at all, a little, quite a bit or very much.

1. I feel uneasy the day before a dental appointment.
2. I feel tense in the waiting room.
3. The thought of a needle in my mouth makes me nervous.
4. The sound or feel of a dental drill bothers me.
5. I worry about being judged for the condition of my teeth.
6. I have put off or avoided dental visits because of nerves.
7. I feel short of breath, sweaty or shaky in the dental chair.

This is not a medical test. It is a way to put words to your feelings so you can share them with your dental team.

• Mostly “not at all” or “a little”: mild nerves. Simple steps, like knowing what to expect and having a stop signal, usually help a lot.
• Several “quite a bit” answers: moderate anxiety. Planning, shorter visits, distraction and extra explanation make a real difference.
• Many “very much” answers, or you avoid the dentist: strong anxiety or phobia. A gradual plan, sometimes with sedation options and support from a mental health professional, can help you get back to care.

Why dental anxiety happens

• Past experiences. A painful or frightening visit, often in childhood, can leave a lasting memory.
• Fear of pain or needles. Many people expect more discomfort than modern dentistry usually involves.
• Loss of control. Lying back with your mouth open and not being able to speak can feel vulnerable.
• Gagging or breathing worries. A strong gag reflex or blocked nose can make the chair feel uncomfortable.
• Embarrassment. People who have not been in a while may worry about being judged.
• Sensory triggers. Sounds, smells, bright lights and vibration can be overwhelming, especially for people with sensory sensitivities.
• General anxiety. People who live with anxiety or panic in other areas of life may feel it more strongly at the dentist.

The avoidance cycle

Anxiety often leads to putting off visits. Small problems that would have needed a quick filling grow into larger ones. When pain finally forces a visit, the treatment is bigger, which can reinforce the fear. Breaking the cycle usually starts with one easy, low-pressure visit, such as a conversation and a simple check, with no treatment that day unless you want it.

What helps before your visit

1. Tell us when you book. Saying “I feel nervous about the dentist” lets us plan a longer appointment, a calmer time of day and a slower pace.
2. Start with a conversation. A first visit can be a meet-and-talk with a gentle look, no instruments needed if you prefer.
3. Choose your time. Many anxious patients prefer early appointments so they do not spend the day worrying. Evening and Saturday times suit others.
4. Bring support. A friend or family member can come with you and wait nearby.
5. Write down your questions and concerns, so nothing is forgotten in the moment.
6. Avoid extra caffeine before your visit, since it can make you feel more jittery.
7. Eat a light meal unless told otherwise, so you feel steady.

What helps in the chair

• A stop signal. Raising your left hand means pause. The team stops as soon as it is safe, every time.
• Tell-show-do. Ask the dentist to explain each step and show you the instrument before using it.
• Slow breathing. Breathe in through your nose for four counts, hold for two, and breathe out slowly for six. Repeat.
• Distraction. Headphones with music, a podcast or an audiobook help many people. A stress ball gives your hands something to do.
• Muscle relaxation. Notice tension in your shoulders, hands and feet, and let each area soften one at a time.
• Breaks. Short pauses to sit up, rinse and reset can make a long visit much easier.
• Comfort items. A blanket, a neck pillow or sunglasses for the bright light can help you feel more at ease.

Our guide on what a dental assistant does explains how the team watches your comfort, and our ergonomics guide covers comfort in the chair.

Comfort for needles and numbing

Fear of needles is one of the most common dental worries. Topical numbing gel, slow delivery of the anesthetic, gentle distraction techniques and checking that you are fully numb before starting all help. You can ask the dentist to tell you before the injection or, if you prefer, not to tell you the exact moment. Our dental anesthesia guide explains what to expect.

Sedation options

For some people, relaxation and good communication are not quite enough. Sedation options such as nitrous oxide, a sedative pill or deeper sedation may be discussed, depending on your health and the treatment needed. Each option has its own requirements, such as arranging a ride home. Your dentist can explain what is suitable for you and what is available at our clinic or by referral.

What to avoid

• Do not hide your anxiety. The team can only help with what they know about.
• Do not wait for pain to book a visit. Smaller problems mean simpler care.
• Do not use alcohol or unprescribed medicines to calm your nerves before a visit. They can interact with dental medicines.
• Do not book a long appointment if you feel very anxious. Start with something short and build up.
• Do not be hard on yourself. Every small step, like making the call, counts.

When anxiety is strong: getting extra support

If dental fear stops you from getting care, causes panic attacks or affects your daily life, you are not stuck with it. Cognitive behavioural therapy, a structured talk therapy, has good results for dental phobia, often in a small number of sessions. Your family doctor can help with a referral. Working on the fear with a therapist while your dental team takes a gradual, step-by-step approach is often very effective.

Children and dental anxiety

Children pick up on adult feelings, so stay calm and positive. Use simple, neutral words and avoid phrases like “it will not hurt” or “be brave”, which can plant the idea of pain. Early, easy check-ups help children see the dental office as a normal, friendly place. Our guide to your child’s first dental visit has more tips, and our children’s dentistry page explains how we care for young patients.

Language and communication

Being able to explain your feelings in your own language can make a big difference. Our team speaks English, French and Farsi, and we can communicate in ASL. Tell us your preferred language when you book.

Your first visit back after a long time

If it has been years since your last visit, the first appointment does not need to fix everything. A gentle first visit often looks like this:

1. A conversation. We start by listening: what worries you, what has happened before, and what you would like to change.
2. A look, at your pace. With your permission, the dentist looks at your teeth and gums. You can stop at any time.
3. X-rays if needed and if you are comfortable. These help find hidden problems so the plan is accurate.
4. A clear plan. The dentist explains what they see, what is urgent and what can wait, and you decide the order.
5. Small steps. Treatment is often split into shorter visits, starting with the easiest or most urgent item.

Many patients tell us the hardest part was making the call. Each visit after that tends to feel a little easier.

What to say to your dental team

If you are not sure how to start the conversation, any of these phrases work well:

• “I get very nervous at the dentist. Can we go slowly?”
• “I had a bad experience before. Can you explain each step?”
• “Needles worry me most. What can we do to make that easier?”
• “I have a strong gag reflex.”
• “I would like to agree on a stop signal before we start.”
• “I have not been in a long time and I feel embarrassed.”

Saying it out loud lets the team adjust right away, and you will often feel calmer just for having said it.

When to see a dentist

Book a visit if:

• It has been more than a year, or many years, since your last check-up. A first visit can be just a conversation.
• You have a tooth that is sensitive, broken or painful. Treating it early keeps treatment smaller.
• Your gums bleed or you notice bad breath that does not go away.
• You would like to plan a step-by-step return to care.

Our care for nervous patients page explains how we support anxious patients at our Danforth Avenue clinic, and our new patients page explains what to expect on your first visit.

Questions about feeling anxious at the dentist

Is it normal to feel anxious about the dentist?

Yes. Many people feel some level of anxiety. Telling your team helps them plan a visit that suits you.

Can I just come in to talk first?

Yes. A first visit can be a conversation and a gentle look, with treatment planned for later if you prefer.

Will the dentist judge me if I have not been in years?

No. Our focus is on helping you from today forward, not on how long it has been.

What if I panic during treatment?

Raise your hand. The team will stop, help you sit up and give you time. You decide when to continue.

Does dental anxiety ever go away?

For many people it eases a lot with positive experiences, a trusted team and, when needed, therapy support.

Can I bring someone with me?

Yes. A friend or family member is welcome to come with you.

Can I listen to music during treatment?

Yes. Headphones with music or a podcast are a great way to relax.

What if I have a strong gag reflex?

Tell us before we start. Breathing through your nose, sitting a little more upright, smaller x-ray sensors, short breaks and working quickly on the back teeth all help many people with a strong gag reflex.

Is it okay to ask the dentist to stop talking me through every step?

Yes. Some people like a step-by-step commentary, and others prefer quiet with music. Tell us what helps you feel calm, and we will follow your lead.

Can anxiety make dental treatment feel worse?

Tension can make you more aware of pressure and sounds. Slow breathing, relaxing your hands and shoulders, and knowing you can pause at any time often make treatment feel much easier.

Can I book a short first appointment?

Yes. Ask for a short visit to meet the team and see the room. Many nervous patients find this makes the next visit much easier.

Will the team rush me?

No. If you tell us you feel anxious, we plan extra time so nothing feels hurried.